THOSE who end up in children’s homes are, to some extent, a privileged lot. The homes usually have no trouble raising money and companies vie with each other to give the children treats; nice meals at popular fast food joints or first night screenings of blockbuster movies.
Because they are plied with gifts, they learn to see themselves as unfortunate and develop a sense of entitlement. Conditioned to expect handouts, they find themselves at sea when they leave the homes at 18. Many cannot even get a job and as there are no more kind corporates eager to secure corporate social responsibility (CSR) points by taking them out on treats, they are left, more or less, to their own resources.
Many fall by the wayside and are drawn to gangsterism or prostitution rings. In fact, according to Sitharather Moorthy, a successful life insurance agent who has made it his business to equip these children with life skills to prepare them for what happens after, criminals make it a point to recruit the children from these homes, especially those who are 11 to 13 years old.
The homes themselves do an excellent job of feeding, clothing and providing shelter for these children as well as seeing that they get a basic education. But for the most part, it is beyond them to see that the children develop inner strength and resilience, a sense of gratitude for the blessings conferred and a desire to make good.
That is why Sitharather started the Malaysia (My) Shining Star Foundation, which works with 124 children from 15 homes. “We do a 12-month programme to create awareness, openness in thinking and seeing the world, and most important, to build self-confidence to face the world as they find their own career and life path,” he says.
Basically, My Shining Star Foundation provides specialised and structured empowerment and practical training programmes for underprivileged children aged 10 to 17. The children are exposed to a variety of skills, tools and knowledge (classes take place both indoors and outdoors).
Each participant in this programme has to keep a journal in which they record the things they learnt that day, how they felt, something not so positive that happened that day, as well as a number of affirmations such as “I am happy, healthy and protected”.
The journals provide an outlet for the children, and the foundation has a group of volunteers who go through each one and monitor what is written. “If there are any red flags, we alert the home and see how we can help,” says Sitharather.
He says that if unmonitored, many of these children fall victim to smooth talkers. “The gangster gives a 12-year-old girl a handphone and what do you think happens? He establishes a relationship with her and pretty soon he is using her as a prostitute. A lot of girls fall into this trap because they are vulnerable and don’t know any better.”
How did Sitharather manage to get the children to agree to keep a journal? “I dangled a carrot. I asked them how many of them had sat on a plane. Inevitably, it would be only one or two. So, I told them that if they kept this journal, I would fly them to Langkawi.”
The effectiveness of this incentive is based on his own experience. “When I was young, I was very naughty and got in with bad company, and could have gone either way. What saved me was joining my school’s cricket team in Ipoh. Two gentlemen helped me — Datuk Bill Davidson and John Black. They gave me the opportunity to participate in the sport and then I went to Sri Lanka on tour. That changed my life. I remember being so excited about the prospect of flying to Sri Lanka and experiencing a whole new country that I could barely sleep at night.”
Once Sitharather had made good in life, he decided that he would help underprivileged children the way he had been helped. A major part of the programme is teaching them to count their blessings.
“One of the classes is conducted by Paul Ato, who got into an accident when he was just 14 and lost his sight. He was so devastated that he wanted to kill himself, but a friend helped him through it. Today, he is married with two children and has a foot reflexology business,” he says.
“During his class, the children are blindfolded for an hour to show them what it is like to be without sight. It makes them realise there are people out there without sight, who can still do many things.”
Likewise, one class is with Nur Azlan Alias, who lost the use of his legs, but still managed to raise funds to help support 50 poor families. “So, these kids, who have their hands, legs, eyes, everything, see these two people and realise that they are blessed even though they are living in a children’s home,” he says.
Where before the children in these homes were orphans, today, most of them have at least one parent alive or relatives who could take them in, if they so choose. This contributes to their sense of being abandoned, which if allowed to fester, will poison the rest of their lives.
Other than exposing them to people with disabilities who have made good, Sitharather gets people who can teach them life skills such as money management, teamwork and mind mapping. He is also trying to get Canon to sponsor cameras so he can introduce a photography class.
Sitharather considers helping these children his life’s purpose. The way things have been smoothed out along his path seems to bear this. “Somebody once asked me if I wanted to start a foundation and I said, ‘Can, but how long will it take?’ They told me it would take a few years and I was happy with that because I thought I could work hard for the next two years, build my business and then give my attention to the foundation. I got it in four weeks!
“The other thing I was told was that you must have RM1 million in your bank account before you can start a foundation. When I applied, they lifted the restriction and put it back a few weeks after.”
Recently, Sitharather flew to Amsterdam and decided to open an office there. “I am working with the Rotarians in Holland to adopt a child for a month. If they go there for one month, can you imagine how it will change them? And the best part is if the home knows this child is an orphan or underprivileged and wants to sponsor him or her.”
Whatever he does, his aim is to give the children a proper start in life once they leave the homes. He feels that in all the charity or good works aimed at children’s homes, this is the part of the puzzle that is forgotten or ignored.
Because My Shining Star happened so quickly, everyone scrambled to put together the programmes and get things going. Now, Sitharather is concerned about putting all the pieces in place to ensure maximum transparency.
“I have three people on my board of trustees — Davidson, Derek Stott and Joseph Dominic Silva. I have three lawyers, an accountant and an auditor. We give them our accounts and they do everything. Then, our accounts are audited. You have to do this in a professional way. This thing fell into my lap in four weeks. Since then, it has been like a tsunami,” he says. — By Jennifer Jacobs
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